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| 11 hour torture chamber....... |
Air China mathematics........Vancouver Intl with two bags to check and a carry on. Dude at the counter weighs my bags.........said suitcase with enough tools to rebuild a car let alone an Enfield weighs 31 KGs..........another bag weighs 14 KGs but not as big as the Winnebgo disguised as a suitcase I'm dragging around the airport. Cat behind the counter informs me limit on bags is 23KGs. So.........I say my other bag is only 14. Pissed glare and raises his voice......."23 KG per bag, you need to repack your bags or 200 dollars"........dang dude relax. No shit, I open my bags and cram stuff into my other one......get the Winnie down to 23.7......"more" he says......lmao....are you F'n kidding me bro? Crammed my wiener dudes and stuff dry bag into my bike tail bag and boom! He looks at the scale with disappointment in his eyes.....19.8. I looked at him and said "How ya like me now?"
Trying to wind down after my Packing Malfunction......
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| Nice gut bro, how bout some posture?..... |
Beijing Intl, surprisingly quiet. In a country with over a billion people and literally the center of the spokes for airlines throughout China, we roll in there at 4pm local and the joint is a ghost town. It's an open air airport the size of the King Dome (RIP) and the place was empty. Had some lunch, they didn't know what was affectionately known to Winston as a fork. You could make a Reality Show solely based on Winston learning how to use chopsticks.......so it was a spoon for him.
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| Chopsticks 101......gotta get outa Calgary more |
Walking back to our gate, out of no where comes two dudes, right out of the movies......asks Winston to see his passport and without taking a breath...... "Come with us"......see ya dude, I'll send ya pictures from my trip in the Himalayas. By the way, our planes boarding right now. I get in line and Canada's finest disappears down a walkway.......Boom, another dude, zero personality, zero english and and probably still pissed about the beat down over the Winter Olympics hauls me down a walkway........and low and behold there's the Winnebego fresh off her Van Coo Coo weight loss evolution. Dude tells me to open my bag and it looks like a bomb went off in it. Everything is open tossed to high hell. Corporal Personality busts out five pages of X-ray images from bag and starts asking questions.........mean while......Winston coughs up chain lube and some other crap out of his bag. Dudes want his Spot tracker? Yer joking right? Winston tells them to pack sand and they release him to the airplane. My harassment package........appears they pull every cool tool and gizmo out and tell me I can't take it.....WTF over? SPOT, Gerber Tool, tire inflation tools......yo man, I know there are 1.2 billion bikes in this country but don't take all my Enfield emergency medical equiptment .......try Amazon......no wait, you can't because it's blocked, as was Google Blog, Facebook, and 20 other news websites I tried searching for while sitting in the airport for 4 hours. Keep trying, there's always the 2016 Olympics!
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| Not our actual dude, but you get my drift |
Only about 80 people on our flight. Found five open seats in row 39 and slept 5 of the last 7 hours........SchlepRock out!
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